4 a.m. - that not-so-magic hour

Its 4 a.m.
And I'm still up.
Again.

All sorts of people try to give me advice on how to deal with 'insomnia'.  Hey, I know it all inside-out, by heart, word for word, etc.  The thing with me is not that I TRY to sleep and cannot... Its that I feel this deep resistance to even going to sleep unless I am so tired that I can't keep my eyes open (and that happens so rarely before 6 a.m.).

I can't really explain it. I've always tended to sleep late and I know that much of this has to do with the crazy hours I kept as a grad student- Bad Habits. go away Bad Habits!!

But a lot of it also has to do with enjoying the only quiet time I'm ever going to get while living at home with people coming in and out and knocking on my bedroom door constantly.

 The other part of it has to do with the fact that I don't want to think because, these days, thinking is not fun!

The Girls (my main group of friends- the people I see most often) all went to the movies tonight with a few other friends, and I had to stay in because of financial reasons.  I'm starting to not mind staying in, which is probably not such a great sign, eh?  But neither was the period where I couldn't be home for 5 minutes and was on the go the second I woke up until (often) 5 or 6 a.m.
(i'm saying all this and yet I still managed to get home at 4:30 this morning and have plans tomorrow to be out having lunches(maybe a picnic), coffee, maybe go-kart, all to be TBD)

Hmm... maybe I should do some kind of a bio-intro lol... who knows what Dear Reader has imagined about me at post #2?

Nah... won't bother right this moment heh... will do another day.

For now I should probably avoid starting another episode (today's shows have been: Stargate Universe, According to Jim (which i don't love but I am desperate for some easy to watch sit-coms), and Ghost Whisperer) and probably should avoid logging in to the facebook games....

I just remembered that I bought a book the other day (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and that's probably the smartest thing I could do right now. Unless its really good- in that case I probably won't put it down till the sun comes up... well, chances are I won't be sleeping before then ANYway!

goodnight Dear Reader... or should I say... Good Morning!

EDIT: adding this in at 6:20 a.m. to say... I'm still awake :(
Not that I've tried to sleep yet, instead I started reading other blogs (I'm entirely new to the blogging universe) and found some amazing blogs full of amazing stories and am wondering... what the hell am I doing writing this self-indulgent crap? Still not planning to give it up (just yet) though!